| | For starters, I'm worried about my browsing history on Amazon.com. I'm usually exceedingly cheap and buy nothing for myself, but I know the next time I'm sad I'll probably buy one of the objects pictured below. I feel like throwing up at the thought of spending $250 on a set of DVDs. I've already bought a complete kitchen set consisting of a wrought iron table with two chairs and bench upholstered in yellow vinyl. Considering the 9' x 12' dining space I occupy while whipping up gourmet meals of beefaroni, this may not have been the most practical item to get. Justifying this expense to people with, "It is me in furniture form" only makes me sound crazier. Personification doesn't make you too many friends. I just spent the past two hours attempting to find the best deal on plane tickets to Kentucky. All I wanted to do was to eat comfort food in complete solitude. For some reason, my thought process chooses to zero in on "The only way to get a bowl filled with calories and delicious, delicious gravy is to travel to Kentucky. Lexington, specifically." Luckily, the crippling effect hotel sheets has on me spared my credit card the $150. I have no clue why my brain registers the most inconvenient solution rather than "Go to KFC." Unfortunately, the most recent thing I bought had no germ barricades to discourage it from being left alone. I leapt into pretention with my latest purchase: a Macbook. My current computer's sound has barely worked since I bought it, and the only thing I wanted to do upon getting home from work was listen to Positive K's "I Got a Man." I have simple needs. Realizing I couldn't do this, I decided to ignore my two year warranty and just start over. Genius! Oh, and I got a five foot inflatable orange slice from my job. I'm not quite sure what to do with it other than be less hot than Gwen Stefani.
Even though it may dispel the common misconception that I'm Jewish, I really don't have enough money left to be buying unnecessary things. Okay, so Fruit Slice Island was totally called for. |
| | Posted 8/10/2007 5:30 AM - 105 Views - 32 eProps - 30 comments
- recommend
    - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
Give eProps or Post a Comment |