im_an_oxymoronDisappointing you since '03
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Original: 8/10/2007 5:30 AM
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Friday, August 10, 2007

During Times of Heightened Despondence, I Find Myself Making Slightly Irrational Purchases

 
Currently Watching
Color Me Kubrick
By John Malkovich, Jack Ryan, Gabriel Diggs, Sam Redford, Leslie Phillips
see related

For starters, I'm worried about my browsing history on Amazon.com. I'm usually exceedingly cheap and buy nothing for myself, but I know the next time I'm sad I'll probably buy one of the objects pictured below. I feel like throwing up at the thought of spending $250 on a set of DVDs. pricey

I've already bought a complete kitchen set  consisting of a wrought iron table with two chairs and bench upholstered in yellow vinyl. Considering the 9' x 12' dining space I occupy while whipping up gourmet meals of beefaroni, this may not have been the most practical item to get. Justifying this expense to people with, "It is me in furniture form" only makes me sound crazier. Personification doesn't make you too many friends.

I just spent the past two hours attempting to find the best deal on plane tickets to Kentucky. All I wanted to do was to eat comfort food in complete solitude. For some reason, my thought process chooses to zero in on "The only way to get a bowl filled with calories and delicious, delicious gravy is to travel to Kentucky. Lexington, specifically." Luckily, the crippling effect hotel sheets has on me spared my credit card the $150. I have no clue why my brain registers the most inconvenient solution rather than "Go to KFC."

Unfortunately, the most recent thing I bought had no germ barricades to discourage it from being left alone. I leapt into pretention with my latest purchase: a Macbook. My current computer's sound has barely worked since I bought it, and the only thing I wanted to do upon getting home from work was listen to Positive K's "I Got a Man." I have simple needs. Realizing I couldn't do this, I decided to ignore my two year warranty and just start over. Genius!

Oh, and I got a five foot inflatable orange slice from my job. I'm not quite sure what to do with it other than be less hot than Gwen Stefani.

tragic2 tragic_kingdom

 

Even though it may dispel the common misconception that I'm Jewish, I really don't have enough money left to be buying unnecessary things. 

Okay, so Fruit Slice Island was totally called for.

 

 

 Posted 8/10/2007 5:30 AM - 105 Views - 32 eProps - 30 comments

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Visit tickled_pink_06's Xanga Site!

WOW I'm the first one to comment. That's a first. How's the macbook working out for you? I think I've decided on just saving up and getting the dell notebook thaout my dad uses for work. That's what I'm on right now, and I've never experienced a problem with it and I'm already comfortable with it so why not? It's nice enough. I just hope they still make it. If not that's fine too. No biggie. Let's just hope it doesnt cost too much.

Don't let people think you're crazy for buying that furniture, I totally understand, and If I saw myself in furniture form, I would be all over it. That orange island slice looks pretty spiffy. I completely understand why it was called for.

Yea this comment is nothing

Posted 8/10/2007 10:56 AM by tickled_pink_06 - reply

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nothing special. Ok....thats the only thing I don't like about this and any laptop, your hands are positioned so weird and you can end up hitting buttons that you don't mean to. I obviously didn't mean to hit that enter button, and sometimes I'll highlight stuff and not mean to.

Anyway,

can't wait to be home!

<3 always,

Tin na na nah

Posted 8/10/2007 10:57 AM by tickled_pink_06 - reply

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do you mean 'solitude' instead of 'solidarity'? 
Posted 8/10/2007 11:37 AM by AristotleForDummies - reply

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I have a similar problem... only I don't zero in on big ticket items... I go to the dollar store and come out feeling raped. In a way it's worse, because it's SO much easier to justify a dollar here and there.
Posted 8/10/2007 1:32 PM by Fauntane - reply

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Hahahahahaha.....Fruit Slice Island...is AMAZING.
The first CD I ever owned for myself was Tragic Kingdom when I was in second grade.  This resulted in me dressing up like Gwen Stefani (or my most Gwen second grade clothes).  Then it was cute, now I couldn't pull it off.  Also, she's dead to me.

Oh, and it's weird, you're right about the whole personification thing.  I'm always threatening to marry things, mostly inatimate objects.........it's never a crowd pleaser.
Posted 8/10/2007 1:43 PM by danielfranco - reply

Visit ihadtocometoprisontobeacrook's Xanga Site!
they gave away a five-foot-long inflatable peep at our jcl convention (after all, what say "i love latin" more than an inflatable easter candy door prize?). i thought that would make you feel better.

don't feel bad about purchasing a dining set. i come home with random, salvaged pieces of furniture after a night of dumpster-diving my my friends on a bi-monthly basis. at least you had the tact to buy your furniture. don't get me wrong, though; i love dumpster-diving. you know what they say: "one man's trash is another man's pitiable pastime."

thanks for the encouragement. it might not be in the fanciest form, but they're just words, right? most people bump past one another on a daily basis without as much as a glance. all words of encouragement are welcome, in my opinion. and yours are truly appreciated. how are things going with you?

#Andrew#
Posted 8/10/2007 6:36 PM by ihadtocometoprisontobeacrook - reply

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i always buy random crap, especially books.

lack of comprehension is my 'pitiable pastime.'

so basically, i'm paying for trying to

understand other people's rambles or 'explanations.'

you are at least buying stuff that could be useful to

you, personally, lol.  i think i'm just supporting them.

Posted 8/11/2007 5:28 AM by naturechild5 - reply

Visit OIOIJESUS's Xanga Site!
i think it would make my day to see you rolling in a giant ball... hammy would be quite proud, i think. and at any rate, i miss you, and kelsey, and my dear guenevere. but at least i will get to see you and the kelster soon, right? yes?
oh, when are you going back to school? hmmmm?
Posted 8/11/2007 2:58 PM by OIOIJESUS - reply

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I love the orange slice. If you don't want it I will have it.
Posted 8/11/2007 5:57 PM by bittersunday Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - reply

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Personification works to garner the friends one really needs to have.  Blessings abound
Posted 8/11/2007 10:04 PM by epeemom - reply

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http://www.xanga.com/Drakonskyr/519108947/item.html

I'd mentioned that movie awhile back, myself.
Posted 8/11/2007 10:46 PM by Drakonskyr Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - reply

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textbooks... oy, i usually try to learn one new thing each day.  i spend a few hours on it, either working or pondering it.  sometimes i give up.  sometimes i don't, or won't.  if i don't get it, i'm only going to OCD a bit then abandon ship.  unless it's math, that is...i'll torture myself each week with a few problems.  i don't know why.

no, i used to be real 'sunny,' and i had even less friends than i do now.  then again, i naturally have the personality of a labrador, druel included, 'little miss sunshine;'  my neverending happiness (6-16) seems to have the reverse effect on other people. so i don't think sarcasim has that much to do with making friends and not.  i think people attract or repel others.  some try to conciously chose their friends, usually based on needs, lackings somewhere, and these seem the quickest to fail. 

i think we love those most like ourselves.  if we don't love ourselves, though, we will become alone.  we make ourselves.

it's not a false sense of entitlement, i feel, this bitterness...  it's where do i go to unstupify my sordid self?  i've failed many times, and it's, um, annoying.  i'm starting, as time passes, to care less and less about how other people are or act; i only have myself.  that's what i'm thinking, or not thinking, right now.

Posted 8/12/2007 1:07 AM by naturechild5 - reply

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p.s. how much for the 'orange slice?'  :)
Posted 8/12/2007 10:00 PM by naturechild5 - reply

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thanks, i want the lime one:)

Posted 8/13/2007 1:01 AM by naturechild5 - reply

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he did seem pretty promising,so did most of the guys or 'men' ive been talking to.
but ive stopped talking to them. Really all of them, and have been contimplating on deleting my myspace on a daily basis. I kind of wish i could loose my phone, so no one could contact me. it would be nice. I hope things get better for you too. and I have a feeling things will be looking up as soon as school starts.
Posted 8/13/2007 1:10 AM by xSylentWordsx - reply

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oh goodness that is a fantastic picture!! mike and i are on good terms i guess, havent talked to him in a while though. also carl doesnt like me to because mike always tells me how he loves me and knows we are going to be together in the end.. but yeah, im all right, im going to be working a shit load when you guys are coming down, i actually have 36 hrs that week, which is crazy!!!!
at any rate.. i bought a pack of neopet trading cards for the prize code the other day, i feel kinda sick to my stomach about it =/ am i turning into a mega nerd? who knows...
Posted 8/13/2007 2:19 AM by OIOIJESUS - reply

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Oh hun, thats funny. You do not look like Nicholas Cage.

Sorry it took me so long to reply. I didn't know you had commented. I guess somethings wrong with the whole email-people commenting me-thing.

Anyway, you're welcome. And thank you. =)

Posted 8/13/2007 11:44 AM by I_Heart_You__Choke_And_Die - reply

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Where is the harm in purchasing, or even browsing for, an original Sega Genesis? It had all those classic games! For instance, Sonic the Hedgehog! And there was... Sonic The Hedgehog II! And... well... Sonic versus Gizmo or whatever his sidekick was for that period. Fun fact about Sonic The Hedgehog: In the mid-1990s an animated series (which looked like tripe compared to the videojuego) was developed for ABC Saturday mornings with Sonic being voiced by everyone's favorite white and nerdy television superstar JALEEL WHITE! (I do realize Jaleel White is not actually white, but his mannerisms, attire, and inability to cut a mean rug in the presence of the Winslows made him about as white as Pat Sajak, but closer to the non-Caucasian persuasion than, say, Colin Powell. I think the only reason one could be ashamed of their historical history of Amazon browsing history is if they were searching for hardcore balloon fetish porn. If you're unawares of what the balloon fetish is, well, you're pretty intelligent, establish a guess based on the name of said fetish and what conceivably would be involved in the arousal of said parties who are fanatics for the craze. OH BALLOONS... OH BALLOONS... DON'T STOP YEAH!

Someday that table is going to come in handy. I bet some table poachers from Guatemala are going to break into your humble abode one evening and try to make off with the table and a few other table accessories. But since the table's materials include iron, you would be stirred by these crazy fellows and their bitchin' sweet rifles, which would lead you to bashing the gazplatchy out of them. Gazplatchy, it can mean insubordination. Or it can mean their organs. Is there anything more stimulating than beating up table poachers and harvesting their organs?  Remember children, friends don't let friends steal their wrought iron tables. Unless they can acquire $3 million on the black market for them. In which case, a majority vote by a 2:1 ratio is in order.

You should just conjure up the spirit of The Colonel to reveal to you all the secret spices and herbs and other ingredients of his chicken and then cook up a fresh tasty batch of your own. You get to save all the money on travel fare you would've spent, plus you won't be encountered by any creepy homeless people whose permanent residence is 102 Cardboard Box Blvd., just outside of the KFC on Merton's Plaza, Lexington, KY 10101, waiting for their moment to ask a patron who has just finished off a bucket of the Original Recipe to lick their fingers. Oh yeah, these homeless fellers and gentleladies do exist. Especially the closer you get to The Colonel's boyhood house. He's like the Elvis of fried chicken from the state of Kentucky. Plus, I hear the residents of Kentucky like to dress up in girl's clothes. It's not for shits and giggles; it's the law.

POSITIVE K! "What's your man got to do with me?" "I GOT A MAN!" "I'm not tryin' to hear that, see?" And then later he says something like "You know what's the problem, you're not used to learnin', I'm Big Daddy Longstroke and your man's Pee-Wee Herman". SLAM! (BA-DAH-DAH! BA-DAH-DAH! LET THE BOYS BE BOYS! How did this conversation turn into a discussion of 90s hip-hop one hit wonders?) In regards to Positive K, he maintained the slight edge over Sir-Mix-A-Lot, because Positive K was all about the positive attributes and abilities of getting a girl to strip to her skivvies and let him have his way with her. Afterwards, they'd all enjoy a fresh tasty wine cooler, then bump uglies again. Whereas Sir-Mix-A-Lot had a giant fixation with the women's buttocks. Instead of actually embarking on fulfilling his fantasies, he'd just spit rhymes about their butts until they were reduced to death. You can't really romance a skeleton. Unless you're a necrophiliac.

You're far greater than Gwen Stefani. And that was determined by a landslide victory, much in the way Ronald Aloysius Reagan defeated Walter Mondale. Gwen Stefani needs to die a slow, painful death. Preferably getting locked in a tanning booth and being reduced to a bunch of terribly terrible burns that consume her entire body. And while she's locked in there, she's forced to listen to "Hollaback Girl". Then she'd really go bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Probably eat her own flesh to avoid the searing hot pain of a burn induced death featuring the chorus of Hollaback Girl.

Anyway, don't sweat the personification. While in the midst of another weekend on the radio, I created fictitious characters (interns, to be precise) who I habitually tortured and threatened to report to I.N.S.. Plus I discussed my intention to turn the super amazing creation of "Natural One" by Folk Implosion into a woman who would not sass me that I could then marry on a giant boat. And we don't even play Folk Implosion...

So in conclusion, you continue to stay classy. If classy is not an option, I *demand* you keep things sophisticated and smooth, like Santa: The Action Figure would. Keep rockin'.

Posted 8/13/2007 12:46 PM by TenAMAutomatic - reply

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i am totally in love with elyse. i used to be die-hard obsessive and watch my cycle one dvds religiously, but i haven't read her livejournal in a while up until last night and she completely whisked my heart back.

and i am totally in love with my macbook. excluding it's use of firefox for the fact it screws up people's xanga layouts and highlights in blue.
Posted 8/13/2007 9:28 PM by yourclassypinup - reply

Visit ihadtocometoprisontobeacrook's Xanga Site!
i owe you a game of scrabble, too.

i just finished siddhartha by herman hesse. it was amazing. right now i'm reading two books: man and his symbols (by carl jung) and myths to live by (by joseph campbell). have you ever read the autobiography by bejamin franklin? it's one of my all-time favorites. hope that helps.

chairs are the best finds, in my opinion. i also like old letters, pictures, and memorabilia. it's awkward to see what people end up throwing away after holding onto for so many years.

#Andrew#
Posted 8/14/2007 2:19 AM by ihadtocometoprisontobeacrook - reply

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I totally have that exact boxset of Six Feet Under.
Posted 8/20/2007 8:15 PM by YouCantGoHome - reply

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Ok, so I don't know my exact schedule or anything, though I do know that I should be done babysitting by 6:30 at the latest tonight, thursday night and friday night. They didnt get home till 1:30 monday night and they said that they weren't going out any other night this week. So we should be able to hang out sometime. What day would be best for you?


[I'm putting this on facebook, and myspace, and most likely texting you as well]
Posted 8/21/2007 1:59 AM by tickled_pink_06 - reply

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i LOVE six feet under.
they have all the seasons at the library (minus the first)!
Posted 8/26/2007 7:32 PM by raggednotion - reply

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hahah, It does feel right. I eagerly await possibly meeting you, too! I haven't encountered many crackwhores though, maybe that's because i'm scared to venture out at night alone..
Posted 8/28/2007 1:03 AM by YouCantGoHome - reply

Visit YouCantGoHome's Xanga Site!
come back soooooon
Posted 8/29/2007 12:26 PM by YouCantGoHome - reply

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